my_little_human

Well, ladies and gentlemen...all my non-existent readers...the journey is over.

Tonight I received my final Weddingbee rejection letter. The fifth one.

The kicker? They enjoyed my blog, but all slots are full.

The major kicker? They just welcomed a new bee two or three days ago. And she was accepted a mere four days after submitting her application.

I knew it was coming, but it still makes me sad that I will never be Miss Thimble.

Oh, well.

But in any case, I'm moving my wedding shenanigans to my first blog, Gidgett Explains It All. Which is probably going to get a major overhaul now that I'm done with auditioning to be a Bee.

Auditions are stressful, and this one was no exception. Five rejections, too much time and energy spent on a venture that ultimately proved to be fruitless, and absolutely no comments.

It's time to move on. If you liked anything on this blog, then please follow me here.

I've shown what my cardbox looks like so far, right? It's just a plain $10 hinged wooden box that I picked up at Michaels. Well, it's going to be a whole lot more.

A lot of my visual inspiration comes from the astounding Mary Blair. She was one of the most prominent concept artists that Disney had during the '40s and '50s. Walt Disney loved her work so much that not only did he send her on his goodwill mission to South America in the 1940s, but he also specifically requested that she design one of the most famous (and probably most obnoxious) Disney attractions, it's a small world. Her importance in Disney history is even more notable when you consider this:
Then I dug out my box of paints left over from my artistic phase in high school and started blocking in the colors. First the lights:
...and then the brights...
...and then the background.
I finished by touching up the edges to make them a little crisper. That's all for today- I want to have time for the first layer of paint to dry before adding anything else.

Tomorrow: shading and detail work. That will make my cardbox go from looking rather juvenile and silly to pretty and artistic.

Here's the work I've done so far, next the back of the book to show the comparison. What do you think?
(Don't worry! It's not going to be nearly this streaky and blocky! This is only the first layer of paint!)

Do you doubt your DIY projects in their early stages?

All right, y'all. It's time for True Confessions: Caitlin Style!

I started blogging in 2004, mostly because I...well....I wrote fanfiction.

There. I said it.

Now everyone has mental images of a short nerdy chubster with glasses, sitting at an old computer tapping out terribly angsty love stories about fictional characters.

(And sadly, you're just about right.)
(I'm the one on her knees in the middle. Yup- glasses, long hair, awkward smile...)

I blogged mostly to keep up with the people who read my stories and begged for updates. And honestly, the story-writing and the blogging were both key components of my recovery. You see, I began struggling with depression when I was six years old, but went undiagnosed and untreated until I was eleven. When I hit high school, I was in a much better state of mental health, but I was still socially far behind my peers. My friends on the internet provided me with a sense of community and acceptance that I didn't always find in real life.

But as I grew up and recovered, I was able to embrace the sassy, fun-loving extrovert I truly am, and my blogging life became second place to my school friends. I didn't pick up a blog again until 2006, when I was accepted to an internship at Walt Disney World.

I'm doing my level best to straighten up my slackerlicious ways. Is it working? Um...I plead the fifth.

On the upside, good ol' Nashvegas has been hit with more snow than I've seen for decades. As a result, I'm trapped in my house. With my sister. Who has been playing Super Smash Brothers all day. And shouting about it. And while I've entertained the notion of joining her pixellated fun, I know I have other things to do.

(also, I'm terrible at SMBros. I play as Pit, and all I do is spin my bow in circles while yelping. I don't win. Ever.)

So I've buckled down and worked. Sporadically.

I had the TV on while sewing way, way, way too many buttons on a new shirtwaist dress, half-watching Meet the Robinsons. But as the movie finished, I had to stop and watch.

See, I forgot that we picked "Little Wonders" by Rob Thomas as our first dance. (That's what a three-year engagement does to you.) And "Little Wonders" plays at the end of the movie.

I couldn't help it. I bawled like the sap I secretly am. The song is beautiful, Rob Thomas's voice is perfect, and the lyrics are just so poignant, and just right for us. I doubted the choice for a while, just because I didn't know what people would think of a Disney song- if they would roll their eyes, or if they would think it was too trite. But after listening to it again, I'm perfectly confident.

Does your first dance song tug at your heartstrings?



Let it go
Let it roll right off your shoulder
Don't you know
The hardest part is over
Let it in
Let your clarity define you
In the end
We will only just remember how it feels

Our lives are made
In these small hours
These little wonders
These twists and turns of fate
Time falls away,
But these small hours
These small hours
Still remain

Let it slide
Let your troubles fall behind you
Let it shine,
Till you feel it all around you
And I don't mind
If it's me you need to turn to
We'll get by
It's the heart that really matters in the end

Our lives are made
In these small hours
These little wonders
These twists and turns of fate
Time falls away
But these small hours
These small hours
Still remain

All of my regret
Will wash away somehow
But I cannot forget
the way I feel right now

In these small hours
These little wonders
These twists and turns of fate
Yeah, these twisted turns of fate
Time falls away
Yeah, but these small hours,
These small hours
Still remain

Yeah, oh they still remain
These little wonders
All these twists and turns of fate
Time falls away
But these small hours
These little wonders
Still remain

After mailing the invitations mere days ago, we have our first two RSVPs!! We have one yes, and one no.

The yes came from MOH Kat. She was so giddy about getting the official invitation that she filled out the card the minute she got it, and flapped it in my face when I went to her apartment for movie night. I believe her exact words were "LOOK WHAT I HAVE I'M SO EXCITED THIS INVITATION IS SO PRETTY I'M OFFICIALLY COMING THIS WEDDING IS GOING TO BE THE CHIZ."

(you see why I love her?)

The no came from a dear friend from my high school days. Not only did she send the card, but she sent me a Facebook message the very day she received the invitation apologizing for not coming and explaining that she'll be in France during the wedding.

I was a bit sad that she can't come, but hey, that's a pretty awesome reason to not come. Besides, she promised to bring me back something from France. Huzzah!

Have you received RSVPs yet? How did you reacot

THINGS ON MY TO-DO LIST:

-Figure out why none of my blogs from the week have shown up!! Livejournal, why have you failed me?!

-Meet with our photographer!!

-(Possibly) figure out our cake

-Sew more dresses. Like the flower girl's dress. And my reception dress.

-CRAFT LIKE AN EFFING MANIAC.

Doesn't sound like much, eh? AND YET IT IS.

But now I have to go interview for a job. A job doing alterations at Bridal Warehouse. I AM SO ANXIOUS.

Are you finding that life is complicating wedding planning? BECAUSE I CERTAINLY HAVE.

(hence, I must speak in ALL CAPS to show my EMOTION.)

(lol)

I've seen a lot of debate about changing your last name to your husband's after the wedding. Everybody has their reasons for changing, or not changing, or hyphenating, or combining, and I think it's awesome. There's no good reason for following tradition blindly.

Personally, I will be changing my name. For me, it is a symbol that I am officially creating a new family with my new husband, and the name change goes hand in hand with the change in my life. I will be adding my maiden name as a third middle name (and seeing as how my maiden name is a fairly standard boy's name, it won't be too odd).

I also think that changing my last name to my husband's will make life easier for our children. We want at least three, and I don't really want to have to make them explain why their hyphenated last name is so terribly long, or why Mommy's last name is different from theirs.

That being said, P's very lovely Cornish last name has three drawbacks.

#1: It's impossible to pronounce.

#2: It's impossible to spell.

#3: It rhymes.

P's last name is Trevathan. Apparently in Cornwall it's as common as "Smith" or "Jones," but over here it just gets funny looks and hesitant "Trev...Trev...um..."

(For the record, it's pronounced tre-VAY-than.)

And while I am happy to take his last name, there's one thing holding me back. You know Julia Goolia in the Wedding Singer? Well, I'm going to be Caitlin Trevathan.

Yeah. Drink that in for a bit.

It's silly, but it's a little annoying at the same time. It sounds made-up.

On the other hand, it would look GREAT as a stage name!

What does your name game look like?

I've talked about my 'maids awesome dresses, but I've never introduced them. Let me rectify that!

MOH Kat:I took Rose and her brother on a whirlwind VIP tour through Disney World this summer. Since she's a rabid Pirates of the Caribbean fan, we rode it multiple times that day (I think three, although my personal record is five). These be our pirate faces, argh.

Rose was the very first person I met when I moved to Nashville- she was in my audition group for the fall play. We would hang out every morning before school in front of the theater announcement board. We have at least half a dozen movie marathons a year; they always involve copious amounts of popcorn and Dr. Pepper. I swear that gal is 90% DP. And she has excellent taste in movies- our last marathon included Treasure Planet, Win a Date with Tad Hamilton, and Iron Giant. And Twilight, but only because we felt like watching a comedy, and I hadn't seen it before. We counted how many times Bella bites/licks her lips. The answer? Thirty-three.

Rose knew P since they were little. In fact, when they were in high school, they dated. That's right. My fiance and my bestie are exes! And he broke up with her in the WORST WAY IMAGINABLE. Luckily, Kat broke the news that I was crushing on P, Rose was 100% for it, and P was relieved that the hard feelings were over. And now Rose delights in informing people that she's in her ex-boyfriend's wedding.

Emma:
This was taken last spring. Emma borrowed one of my favorite stories ("Utensile Strength" by Patricia Wrede- it's a fairy tale about the Frying Pan of Doom) and wrote it into a script. We all went to Centennial Park and acted it out. I played Princess Annalisa the scullery maid, and she was the narrator. (P was King Mendanbar).

Emma is my Voice of Reason. I wish I was kidding, but I'm not. She tells the truth, whether you like it or not. We met at the same Halloween party where I met P. She was undercover. And when I say undercover, I mean that she walked around with a blanket over her head. See why we had to be friends?

Emma has known P for longer than I have; her older brother is one of P's best friends. She's been a wonderful sounding board for wedding ideas through the past three years of planning, and she makes sure that I keep my head on straight. She's also been my accountability partner, which I really appreciate.

Rebecca:
Lindsay:

So that's my killer-diller bridal posse! What does your lineup look like? Do you have a squadron of ladies, or just one lady, or a dude, or are you so cool you don't even need a bridal party?

It's official!

I took the invitations to the post office today. They're typed, glued, stickered, addressed, and stamped. Now they're zipping across Tennessee and Pennsylvania and Texas and even California. It's for reals, y'all. This isn't just some event we're hypothetically planning. People will actually be coming.

The invitations weighed in for a normal 44-cent stamp, but I still wanted to hand-cancel. After all, I had heard that hand-canceling was an important part of sending fancy-pantsy invitations. There was just one problem.

What exactly is hand-canceling? And why is it so important to do it?

Well, kiddos, this is how it rolls. An envelope is canceled when they stamp the round date and location logo over the postage. Usually this is done by feeding it through a machine, but that can crumple or tear an envelope. So when you have delicate wedding invitations, it's better to do it by hand rather than letting the machine do it.

I went into the post office in the early afternoon with a big plastic bag full of invitations. I got some funny looks, until I explained that I had wedding invitations and I wanted to hand-cancel them. The very nice postman handed me a red self-inking stamp and pointed me to a table where I could stamp away. Five minutes later, I popped back up to the counter, handed him the bag of invitations (and the stamper), and off they went!

Were you smarter than me and knew what hand-canceling was before you sent out your invitations?
 

All right, let's get to it.

Item #1: I'm a procrastinator.

Item #2: I need to see what I need to do in order to get it done.

Item #3: I hereby present a visual to-do list.

Let's get started!

Here we have the guestbook, sparkly pens, and mug to hold the aforementioned pens. Remember the jelly pens of the early 2000s? Yeah, turns out that not only are they inexpensive, they also show up on dark paper and they're acid-free. My brief fling with scrapbooking in high school taught me that if you want ink to last, you want it to be acid free so it won't warp over time.

On the right, we have the remaining invitations that need to be addressed. And my color-coordinating address book. And stamps. I found stamps that have the King and Queen of Hearts. Is there anything better for an Alice in Wonderland wedding? I submit that there is not!

On the left: white flannel back satin, a rhinestone "bride" applique, and McCall's 5534 to make a robe.

In the middle: four 2-yard cuts of tulle and some baroque satin to make a petticoat.

On the right: blue stretch satin, white eyelet, black headband, and McCall's 4948 to make the flower girl's Alice dress

In the back: tulle ribbon, wire-stemmed daisies, and pearl topped pins to make aisle bows. I'm going to get some flat eyelet ribbon too.

In the middle: my shoes! Unfortunately, I haven't found a place in Nashvegas to dye my shoes. So I'm pulling an Amy March and painting them the loveliest shade of sky blue myself.

In the front: The flower girl basket was easy as pie. Bought an Easter basket on clearance. Tied a blue ribbon on one side. bah-BAM. Done. Awesome.

Exhibit #3: What's with the random white teacup? Well, I'll tell you. There be our cake topper!

I love the cute little clothespin people, but while I found them precious, it was too cutesy for P. So instead, I picked up a white paintable teacup from the clearance shelves at Michaels. I'll paint it, fill it with daisies, plunk it on the top of our light blue cake, and bah-BAM. Instant Alice-y cake topper.

Exhibit #4: I was not a fan of the unity candle sets I found in my cruisings online and through craft stores. They were all fancy and covered in scrollwork and things like "TODAY I WILL MARRY MY BEST FRIEND." Blah. So I bought clear glass holders, two small white tapers, and a white pillar candle. And some blue glass paint, so I can personalize them. Personalized unity candle set for under $15? I think YES.

On the left: silk flowers for the corsages, boutonnieres, and tossing bouquet (all stored in my JoBros popcorn bucket). The corsages are actually more like pearl bracelets with flowers on them. My FMIL suggested the idea, and I was like "Sure! I can do that."

(at least I think.)

In the middle: frames to hold signage and the cardbox. Yup. Pretty self explanatory.

On the right: 80 small glass jars. My original plan was to use teapots and matching teacups for the centerpieces, but I realized that that was just too much. So instead, I'm going to paint the small glass jars with a light wash of color and put tealights inside.

So that's the to-do list (at the moment). Can I do it all? I certainly hope so!

Is your to-do list crazy? How do you manage it?

I know that that little yellow clamshell is lurking in my wardrobe just a few feet away. It doesn't seem like much, yet it signals the end of an era and the beginning of a new one.

That's right: birth control pills.

I've never taken the big BC before. My skin was decent throughout my high school days, my periods didn't need to be regulated, and I wasn't sexually active. (Who else thinks of Juno when they hear that? Anyone?)

But now it's time. In two months' time I'll be a married lady, and while I shall glory and exhilarate in the fact that I am a newlywed, there is a step that we're not ready to take.

See, we love babies. Seriously love them. As in we want at least three. (But stopping at five. Why? Because six would be too many, that's why.)

But as much as we love babies, and make lists of names, and plan out nursery color schemes, we know that there's no way we can have a baby any time soon.

We've waited so long to get married, why not enjoy it for a while? There's nothing wrong with us waiting a few years before starting a family. Besides, we're not even out of the MTV demographic yet. There's plenty of time for us to enjoy each other before making it three.

And we don't have the money for a baby yet. Granted, no one is ever really financially ready for a baby, but still. I'm barely out of college, and P has a year left. We can work and save money and get a little established first.

We're just not ready to go from being a couple to being a family; that's really what it all comes down to. And that's why that yellow plastic clamshell is staring me down. Tomorrow, I'm going to take the first one. My very first birth control pill. The pill that signals that my body is no longer solely mine, but now I will share it with my husband, and someday a baby (or five). It's so strange to think about, almost surreal.

I think that beginning birth control is the first thing that has made me feel that I am really, truly getting married. Not the dress, or the flowers, or the invitations, but the fact that I am embarking on a new chapter of my life, moving from a single young adult...to a married young adult. A wife.

And someday, God willing, when the time is right, a mother.

Have you had any profound moments as you prepare to become a wife?

Good news: the bridesmaids' dresses are in! Ahead of schedule! All the right styles! All the right color! All the right sizes! Plenty of time for alterations!

Bad news?

Only four of them made it.

The fifth one won't arrive till March 27.

Which is two weeks after the wedding.

Um, no good.

It wasn't really anyone's fault- just a mixup. The bridesmaid with the missing dress was living in a different state at the time we ordered the other dresses, and somehow hers slipped through the cracks.

So Rose and I journeyed back to Bridal Warehouse in search of a dress. Unfortunately, the consultant who has helped us in the past wasn't there, so we had to work with a girl who was quite new and quite...well, out of the loop, to put it politely. Rose and I meandered through the bridesmaid section (and even the prom section), looking for something that might work.

There was one Alfred Angelo dress in blue jay, so we pulled that, and a couple of other dresses in a similar shade of blue. The consultant floundered behind us, asking if we could find stuff all right on our own. And we did.

It's not ideal, but it's the same company and the same color. I give you...


"But wait!" you cry. "Aren't all the other dresses knee-length?!"

That they are. So the dress shall be altered to the proper length- which the alterations department already confirmed they can do.

Once again, all is right in my little wedding world. It was a bit touch and go, but we have a solution that, while it isn't ideal, is something that everyone is satisfied with.

Have you faced unexpected roadblocks? How have you fixed them?

I have a serious love affair with eyelet. Serious. Nothing makes me swoon like an eyelet hem. I adapted McCall's 5578 for this distinct purpose. Because of the thin and holey nature of the fabric, I lined it completely in a crisp blue cotton.

The back of the dress buttons up. Well, it looks like it buttons up. It actually snaps. Because I am lazy. Also, I don't have a buttonhole foot. Which makes things a bit difficult. But it sure does look pretty!

How did you find the right dress for your bridal shower?
I think the skirt

The quest for a thinner, healthier, fitter figure has continued! I've been cutting back on calories (even though that box of chocolate covered cherries is STARING ME DOWN as we speak!) and working out consistently. So far only a couple of pounds have vanished from my overly-huggable frame, but I can feel the toning in my arms and upper back- which, as every bride with a strapless gown knows, are mega-important.

Everyone has their own key to being consistent, and I think mine is varying it up. I have four or five different workout DVDs, plus I go walking or play Dance Dance Revolution. As long as I don't do the same thing every day, I stay interested and focused. I especially love Exercise.tv. They have scads of workouts you can try out.

(I recommend the Bikini-Ready and Ballet workouts. They're pretty awesome.)

I also do Jillian Michaels' dreaded 30-Day Shred every night. I'm on the fourth day of level one...and I'm not looking forward to switching up to level two! The only thing that really gets me through it is playing the DVD on my laptop while I watch Family Guy on my TV. Weird, I know. But it helps to have something else to focus on. Instead of, you know, Jillian Michaels.

And I'm not alone on my fitness-quest. P has been working out like a madman too. And while we usually just compare our fitness routines on the phone when we chat at night, today we changed it up. We were crazy and worked out together.

We did the Biggest Loser Cardio Max DVD. And man am I tired!

I'm not going to lie, it was a little awkward. I never work out with other people around. And even though I love him to death, I still felt self-conscious working out in front of him. But my weird hangups vanished quickly. It was actually kind of fun! We shouted snarky things at Bob Greene and cracked jokes about how we were totally off rhythm.

I caught him watching me a couple of times. "What?" I spluttered while waving my dorky three-pounds weights in unearthly angles. "What are you looking at?"

"Nothin'," he said.

"Don't look at me, I'm sweaty!" I yelped, tugging at the neckline of my Danny Phantom tee shirt.

"I just think you're cute," he shrugged.

I rolled my eyes, but secretly I felt validated. I was twenty pounds heavier when we fell in love, and it's nice to know that weight doesn't matter.

All the same, though, I'm going to keep working out. That back squish isn't exactly the look I want to be rocking on W-Day.

Are you and your SO teaming up to get fit? Or are you a solo exerciser?

My taste in music is, erm, eclectic. In high school I listened exclusively to Broadway, animation soundtracks, and Japanese pop music (usually the themes to my favorite animes). Then, when P and I started dating, he introduced me to a lot of classic rock. Then I discovered Kate Nash, which opened me up to indie pop and rock. And then somehow punk rock got mixed in there. Still don't quite know how that happened. And most recently I've gotten into '60s-esque blues-tinged pop.

Yeah. Crazy. And P and I have discovered the hard way that it's incredibly difficult to blend all of our favorite music into one cohesive wedding. I mean, it's taken us two years to make our decisions!

But last night we sat down with our laptops and iPods and hashed it out. And I think we've ended up with a motley assortment of music that hangs together, is totally us, and makes a super-fun soundtrack to our very unorthodox-yet-still-slightly-traditional wedding.

Ceremony:

Prelude: “Jesu, Joy of Man’s Desiring” (this was my mother's processional)

The Guys: “Passing of the Blue Crown”

The Girls: “Sakura Kiss for Strings”

The Bride: Sakura Kiss for Piano”

Unity Candle: “Blest Be the Tie That Bind” (the hymn from Our Town)

Recessional: “Theme from Fantasmic! (since I work there!)
 

The Reception:

Entrance: “Dance With You” by Bowling for Soup (and no, I don't really know why the video is about Balto!)

First Dance: “Little Wonders” by Rob Thomas

Garter Toss: "I'll Make a Man Out of You" from Mulan

Bouquet Toss: “Ladies’ Choice” from Hairspray

Cake Cutting: “Sugar, We’re Going Down” by Fall Out Boy

Last Dance: “Snuck Your Way Right Into My Heart” by Love Handel (what makes it better is that Love Handel is actually Bowling for Soup!)

Exit: “I Love You” by the Pipettes

And when P decides on his contributions, you can bet there's going to be some Nickelback, Daughtry, and Rush tossed in the mix.

Are you going traditional or eclectic with your wedding-day music?

Today I took my pretty, pretty princess dress in for alterations. It was so nice to put it on again, in all of it satiny, sparkly, pick-uppy glory.

I wasn't quite prepared, though, for how much will have to be changed. It's going to be gorgeous, but still. So much tweaking!

So what's going to happen to my princess dress?

-Altering the straight-across neckline to a sweetheart neckline

-Tweaking the straps so they'll lie more off-the-shoulder.

-Letting the sides out a little. :(

(I'm definitely going to up the ante on the whole working-out-and-eating-better thing. And definitely more work on my back squish!)

-hemmmmmmms. Because I'm shoooooooort.

-A delicious 13-point French bustle. It looks like somebody tossed a handful of whipped cream on me. In a good, yummy sort of way.

And here's what my pretty dress looks like:

I'm starting to debate my hairstyle, though. I know I definitely want it down, with loose curls, but I don't know if I want it in a half-back. Maybe I can just pin the sides back or something. I don't know.

In the meantime, my dress will be in surgery until the middle of February. I can't wait to see what it looks like then!

Does your dress require a lot of altering? Are you using alterations to make it your own?

In pretty much every show I've ever been in, there's been a moment in the rehearsal process when everything starts to fall apart. No one knows their lines, the actors are goofing off, the set pieces are falling over, costumes aren't finished, and the director is about to weep with exhaustion. Those are terrible, terrible times. You look at all the hard work you've done so far and think, "there's no way this will ever be ready for the audience!"

And that's when the "come to Jesus" talk happens.

The director sits everybody down- actors and crew alike- and gives it to them straight. Those are hard talks, both to give and listen to (I've been on both ends). But it has to be done. Everyone has to face the sobering reality that if they don't buckle down and work, this show is going to flop. And every time I've seen a cast go through that, the rehearsals pick up, work gets done, and the production is marvelous.

Now that there's fifty-five days until the wedding, it's time for me to give a come to Jesus talk to P.

I'm not saying he hasn't been helpful. He's taken care of his tux, he made all the arrangements for our premarital counseling, he's working on the honeymoon, and he's negotiating the church. But at the same time, there are things that I've been asking him to do for months (even years!) and he hasn't done them.

Yesterday I went to lunch after church with P and his family. He had to leave early for work, and the second the door of the restaurant closed behind him his mother turned to me and said, "Has he been helping you?"

"Yeah, mostly," I stammered. "There's some things I need him to do, but he tells me he's on top of it."

"Well, I ask him if you've given him anything to do, and he says you haven't. Or that you did, but he doesn't know where the list is."

That made me unhappy. Yes, I've given him things to do. Yes, he knows where the to-do list is- it's in his Facebook inbox, like it always is.

We had already made plans to sit down and work on wedding things this afternoon, but I feel like I need to give him a bit of a come-to-Jesus talk. I know that losing my temper the other day, while definitely uncalled-for, got his attention (since it prompted him to suggest this afternoon's planning session), so hopefully I won't have to say too much. But there are some things that definitely have to get done today.

-Ask the parents of our prospective ringbearer and flower girl if they can be in the wedding- especially since I'm making the flower girl's dress. This has been on his to-do list since the summer.

-Talk to the officiant about ceremony requirements.

-Contact the church about what items are available for us to borrow (like candles and tablecloths and suchlike).

-PICK MUSIC!! Gah!! I've been nagging about this for TWO YEARS. This one has me more than a little frustrated.

-Look at wedding bands for him

-Get all the addresses from his extended family so we can send out invitations on Wednesday. He's been promising the addresses for the past week.

-Talk to his friend Robert about filming the wedding, since that's his side job.

If we can get all of those taken care of this afternoon, I shall be a happy, happy bride. And it's not that P is purposefully avoiding things. It's that things aren't very pretty when two procrastinators are trying to plan a wedding!

Have you had to have a "come to Jesus" talk with your FI?

I just now got around to taking pictures of my venue. Just now. Don't judge, all right? All right.

Woodmont has been my home church for the past four years, and P's since his middle school days. While it's not the fanciest location, we only have to pay a small fee, there are minimal restrictions, and it's a huge blank canvas. Ready for the grand tour? (via terrible cell phone pictures taken after church? yes? maybe?)


So here's the front. (The blur on the left is MOH Kat, trying to get out of the way).

See? Huge space. Not really fancy. It almost has a loft-space feel. Those big black squares are screens for Powerpoints, so we can put up an image during the ceremony, and do a slideshow later one.

There's the doors where I shall make my super awesome grand entrance! The glass doors are actually rather pretty. And I have a cool set of round topiary trees to flank the entrance. And I'm going to add white and red roses to them. Get it? Painting the roses red? It's like Alice in...oh, let's move on from the nerdiness to the last picture.

This one's a little hard to see, what with the crazy sunlight and milling Sunday crowd, but...

There's a rainbow on the walls.

It's a really need effect: there's actually paint on the inner walls, but the windows are cut in such a way that the rainbow reflects off the white walls. And it's on both sides of the great hall! So I will literally be getting married in the middle of a rainbow. Sweet.

And do you know what makes it sweeter?

P was the one who showed me the secret of the rainbow wall- that there's a hole cut in the center of all the walls, and if you look through, it makes a pretty optical illusion. While I was admiring it, he leaned over and told me that he loved me. For the first time.

*cue the group "d'awwww"!*

What's your venue like? Does it have a deep meaning for you?

I have a terrible, terrible temper. Always have. It comes with the red hair (which is still hidden by the dark dye job from my last show). One of my idols as a child was the similarly tressed and tempered Anne Shirley.

You know how it is: sweet and demure one moment, slate-crackin' the next (which may have contributed to my propensity to whack boys on the head with my science textbook when I was in the fifth grade).

P called me tonight when I got off work. It was a normal phone call...in the beginning. The usual pleasantries: "how was work?",  "how was your day?", etc. Then he asks "was it a good day?"

No, it was not a good day, I reply in the low voice I use when I'm serious and upset. He quiets, and I ramble.

I spent an entire rainy Saturday holed up in my room working on Wedding Stuff. I set aside my bachelorette party dress to work on details. Sending emails to vendors. Spending an hour forming and reforming my silk bouquet. Painting three coats on the wooden cardbox. Fiddling with the unity candles (and discovering that the candles that I thought were unscented were actually vanilla and linen. Ew-riffic combination). Making mockups of the bridesmaid lanterns. Trying to find out if aforementioned bridesmaids had made any plans for a shower.

All this on top of the fact that my parents popped by on multiple occasions just to "see how I was doing," which brought back unsettling memories of homework assignments in my middle school days. And adding insult to injury, my mom (in a "please-don't-procrastinate" sort of way) asked if I was really going to have everything ready by March 13th. It was the sort of thing that made me wish I was still living in an apartment instead of moving back home to save money.

So when P asked "was it a good day?", I told him the truth. I ranted. I wasn't having fun planning all of this wedding crap. I mean, come on, I've only been to three weddings in my life. None of my friends are married, so I don't have anyone to really ask for guidance. I'm playing this all by ear, trying to create a beautifully personal and super fun wedding, while getting all sorts of feedback but no help.

And yeah, some of that was exaggerated. I'll admit it. But I was upset, and lonely, and burned out from spending a whole day poking myself with wire-stemmed silk flowers and drenching myself every time I cleaned my paintbrushes. So it just all came out.

P let me rant. Then he chimed in.

He told me where I was right, and where he agreed with me. He promised to pick up on his to-do list. And he told me one of the most comforting things he could have said- that it didn't matter if my parents were concerned that the wedding isn't "traditional" enough or that some people won't "get it," or that maybe some of the finer details won't come to fruition.

"Do we have clothes?" he said. "Do we have a guy to marry us? Do we have a place? Are people coming? Do we have rings? Then shoot, we'll be just fine, and everyone else will just have to deal with it."

Of course I just had to open my big mouth and whine about how he didn't have his ring yet, but he just laughed and said he would go this week.

And I felt better.

God bless the man who can put with my temper. I'm glad I found him.

Does your FI have to deal with your mood swings? And are you finding yourself a little more tense as your wedding approaches?

There's fifty-seven days till the wedding. I need to meet with the caterer, the photographer, and the bakery. I need to get the rest of the addresses from P so we can send our invitations. I have 1001 projects to finish.

So what am I doing? Making party dresses.

Gah. I can't help it! I live in dresses- to the point that I only own three pairs of pants. And it's so easy to grab a 3-yard cut at JoAnn's or Textiles and whip up a new dress for a special occasion. Or just because, you know, the fabric was real cute and I couldn't say no.

And with all the wedding festivities coming up, I need some pretty new frocks, right? Right.

(I love the word frocks. It's such a girly, old-fashioned word. Makes me think of a girl in a fresh cotton dress sitting under a magnolia tree with a glass of lemonade in one hand and a love letter from her beau in the other.)

I grabbed the lastest JoAnn's mailer and sorted through the various ads, then made out my shopping lists. I might have been a little more type-A than usual, but at least I'll make the most out of the winter clearances and 50% off coupons, right? Right.

Right now I'm almost done with the bachelorette party dress. It's based on a deliciously retro dress worn by one of my favorite singers, Kate Nash.

I'm absolutely in love with that dress. It's so bright and cheerful! Plus it has that super sexy retro bombshell look with the sweetheart neckline and halter.

This pattern is out of print, but I tracked it down on Ebay, and man, was it worth it!

It's a tricky pattern, but so incredibly worth it! This is my version, about 75% done.


I should have this baby done tomorrow. It's pretty awesome- a comfy, flattering, one-of-a-kind bombshell dress for my bachelorette party!

Then there's McCall's 5578 in white eyelet with a blue lining for the wedding shower. And McCall's 5534 in white flannel back satin. And Butterick 5315 in the WORLD'S GREATEST LEMON PRINT. And the vintage petticoat and retro evening dress for the reception. And my version of this Modcloth dress for the rehearsal and rehearsal dinner.

I'm crazy. Definitely crazy. But I'll be well dressed when I have my mental breakdown!

Do you get excited about dressing up for wedding-related soirees? What frocks (or pants or kilts or what have you) are you going to rock?

One of the big things I really want is to have meaningful readings during the ceremony. I've been awed at some of the sweet, beautiful pieces other brides have made, from picture books they loved as a child to poetry. I've seen so many great choices that I've had trouble making my own!

The first thing I decided was that we need two readers and two short readings. That's mostly because there are two people that I dearly love that didn't make it into the wedding- Peter, who was my chief partner-in-crime growing up, and Erin, who has been my closest friend in the theater department for the past few years.

So I have two great readers- but nothing for them to read!

P and I are having a religious ceremony (for lack of a better term), because our faiths are definitely important to us. So it makes sense that one of our readings should be from the Bible. Easy, right?

Wrong. I skimmed through the "recommended readings" for weddings and wasn't really happy with any of them. But then I pulled out my secret weapon, and changed my mind.

The Bible has been put together from a myriad of translations- Greek texts, Aramaic texts, Latin, Hebrew, you name it. And the translations can be so varied that you end up with all sorts of versions. I grew up reading the New International Version, which is probably the most common version. Later, when I attended a Baptist high school, we used King James Version, complete with "thee's" and "thou's." But when I hit college, I found what has quickly become my favorite.

The Message isn't meant to be a direct translation, but rather a paraphrase in modern language. The imagery that seems confusing in KJV and commonplace in NIV becomes new and refreshing. On a whim, I cracked open my copy and turned to the #1 standby, 1 Corinithians 13.

"If I speak with human eloquence and angelic ecstasy but don't love, I'm nothing but the creaking of a rusty gate. If I speak God's Word with power, revealing all his mysteries and making everything plain as day, and if I have faith that says to a mountain, "Jump," and it jumps, but I don't love, I'm nothing. If I give everything I own to the poor and even go to the stake to be burned as a martyr, but I don't love, I've gotten nowhere. So, no matter what I say, what I believe, and what I do, I'm bankrupt without love.

   Love never gives up.
   Love cares more for others than for self.
   Love doesn't want what it doesn't have.
   Love doesn't strut,
   Doesn't have a swelled head,
   Doesn't force itself on others,
   Isn't always "me first,"
   Doesn't fly off the handle,
   Doesn't keep score of the sins of others,
   Doesn't revel when others grovel,
   Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth,
   Puts up with anything,
   Trusts God always,
   Always looks for the best,
   Never looks back,
   But keeps going to the end.

   Love never dies. Inspired speech will be over some day; praying in tongues will end; understanding will reach its limit. We know only a portion of the truth, and what we say about God is always incomplete. But when the Complete arrives, our incompletes will be canceled.

   When I was an infant at my mother's breast, I gurgled and cooed like any infant. When I grew up, I left those infant ways for good.

   We don't yet see things clearly. We're squinting in a fog, peering through a mist. But it won't be long before the weather clears and the sun shines bright! We'll see it all then, see it all as clearly as God sees us, knowing him directly just as he knows us!

   But for right now, until that completeness, we have three things to do to lead us toward that consummation: Trust steadily in God, hope unswervingly, love extravagantly. And the best of the three is love."

It takes on a whole new meaning, doesn't it? I mean, pretty much everyone has heard "love is patient, love is kind" at some point in their lives. But it sounds so much richer this way.

All right, one reading down! Now for the second.

I knew I wanted a reading from a book. When I was six years old and starting school, I had a lot of trouble dealing with social situations and my peers (which was later diagnosed as severe depression when I was eleven, but that's another story), so I turned to books instead. Most of my childhood was spent with my nose in a book. My best friends were Sara Crewe and Mary Lennox, Anne Shirley and Elnora Comstock. I still turn to them from time to time, delving deeply into their worlds.

So now that's it's my time to get married, I turned back to those books- and in particular, my all time favorite, Little Women. I firmly believed as a child that I was just like Jo...although now I've realized that I'm much more of an Amy. So I turned to her wedding first, and found this passage where she talks about her new husband:

"It is so beautiful to be loved as Laurie loves me. He isn't sentimental, doesn't say much about it, but I see and feel it in all he says and does, and it makes me so happy and so humble that I don't seem to be the same girl I was. I never knew how good and generous and tender he was till now, for he lets me read his heart, and I find it full of noble impulses and hopes and purposes, and am so proud to know it's mine. He says he feels as if he 'could make a prosperous voyage now with me aboard as mate, and lots of love for ballast'. I pray he may, and try to be all he believes me, for I love my gallant captain with all my heart and soul and might, and never will desert him, while God lets us be together. I never knew how much like heaven this world could be, when two people love and live for one another!"

I can't lie. I swooned. 

I read this book as a little girl looking for a place to belong, and as a teenager wishing that I could fall in love. Now I'm a grown woman deeply in love, and this passage stands out so brightly to me.

So now this old-fashioned girl has her two readings, and is quite content.

Are you using readings for your ceremony? Why did you choose them?

All right, so good ol' MW didn't pull me out of a burning building or rescue me from the top of a tree, but it has saved me from my usual lackadaisical organization (or lack thereof).

I was that kid who insisted on getting elaborate planners and and backpacks with a million pockets and trapper keepers emblazoned with rainbows and unicorns before school started. I relished the sweet, sweet orderliness of my new and organized school supplies and vowed that they would never get out of order.

And that would last about three days. Five, if I was lucky.

When I first embarked on this wedding-planning journey three years ago, I searched high and low for the just the right planner- some magical 3-ring binder that could fix all my problems. Alas, that was not to be. And while I found solace in The Instant Wedding Planner, I still needed to focus.

So I busted out my laptop and spent a couple of days hammering out a to-do list the size of Sheboygan. I'm sort of kicking myself for not starting on this earlier. After all, I'm on my laptop 24/7. Why not put all of my wedding mess on it?

I have everything divided into neat little folder and subfolders, with everything clearly labeled. It's a huge relief to be able to pull my Wedding folder on my trusty laptop and have everything right there.

Long story short, I found what works for me to keep me focused and organized. What works for you? Is it a planner, a binder, scribbling on your hands? Do you prefer paper or digital?

If someone made a cartoon about me and P, it would be about Allergy Girl and Captain Dehydration the Colonless Wonder. Because he has, well, no colon, and I have forty-seven allergies.

And because flowers make my eyes swell up and my nose run like a faucet, there's no way that I can carry around a real bouquet and come out unscathed. Hence, I'm making my bouquet and the guys' bouts myself. The bouts are for another day, but I got a running start on my flowers.

I bought a slew of silk flowers from Michaels. If you're going the silk route, just wait a bit for sales. When I went, they had all flowers on sale for half off or more! Frickin' sweet.

I started off with this:

Kind of a hot mess, isn't it?

I started off by trimming the length on the longest stems and taking off excess leaves. And I discovered something very, very important.

OH MY LANDS, I NEED BETTER SCISSORS!

I pulled out the scissors I use to cut patterns when I sew- they're nice and sturdy, so they should work, right? WRONG. My poor hands are aching. There was no way on earth that those scissors could get through those stems. Under that innocent vinyl facade is a monstrous thick cord of steel.

Ouch.

I started a system of making a small cut, bending, and twisting until it snapped off. It still took me the better part of an hour to hack away at those things. Eventually it came down to three piles: the bigger flowers with the longer stems, the smaller flowers with the shorter stems, and a Jonas Brothers popcorn bucket filled with fake leaves.

I just sort of stared at it for a moment, like "Uh...what happens next?"

I resolved my blank stare by gathering the larger flowers into one large bundle, and then dividing the shorter flowers into four small bundles. So it came out to this:

This is only a rough mockup- I haven't taped them together or added the ribbon and string of vintage pearls. But it gave me a pretty good look at what it's going to end up like.

(Please excuse the highschooler Myspace picture. But isn't it nice that the colors of my bathroom coordinate with the flowers?)

I'm not a fan of the stripe of blue flowers in the middle, and overall it might be a little bit too big. I still like the overall look, though. It has that fresh, pretty just-picked-from-an-English-garden look that I like.

The best part: they don't look like cheap silk! Huzzah!

The worst part: I have to clip at least six more inches off the longer stems.

Gah. I need to track down a bear trap or something to cut these silly things.

Are you making your own bouquet?

Now that you've picked out your invitations and printed all of its pieces, it's time to put them together! This, at first glance, seems rather daunting.

Our kit included the invitation card, the envelope, the RSVP card, the directions card, the RSVP envelope, the address labels, stickers, and a weird bit of ribbon. The ribbon was supposed to be tied around the card prior to affixing it to the envelope, but we thought it looked rather limp and silly. That actually worked out to be the best- it meant one last step to do!

I worked out what order things needed to be done, and then spread this across the dining room table:

This was my Excited!Caitlin face after completing my first invitation. It was so satisfying to see them pile up at the end of the table. It made everything feel real, too. This is no longer a long-awaited pipe dream- it's an actual event that we're inviting actual people to attend!

This was P's excited face. Well, more of his "She's cute, but way too excited about this" face. He teased me a bit about how happy I was, but the dear man helped me put all of those together, so I didn't pout too much.

Thus the saga of printing your own invitations is complete! Honestly, even though it might seem a little overwhelming, it's really not that bad, even if you can't find your way around your own computer with a laser pointer and a sherpa.

Were you able to put your invitations together without a meltdown?

P and I talked about the honeymoon today. And let me tell you, imma hecka excited!

Why am I so excited? Well...

#1: P and I have never gone on a trip alone together. We've gone on family trips and trips with friends, but never just the two of us.

#2: SEX.

*ahem*

(Sorry. It's just that these two virgins are really looking forward to that...)

#3: I don't have to plan a thing!

That's right! I have no real say in the honeymoon! P is picking the location and planning the trip, all without my input. In fact, I'm not going to know where they honeymoon is until, well, I'm there!

I jokingly brought this up about two years ago. It went a little like this:

Me: "You know, since I'm planning this shindig, you should plan the honeymoon."

Him: "Mm-hm."

Me: "And you should keep it a secret from me."

Him: "Mm-hm. Okay."

Me: "Are you listening?"

Him: "Yup."

Me: "...ninja bunnies are taking over the world."

Him: "Mm-hm."

(he was playing video games at the time.)

But he actually took me seriously. Now that we're two months out from the wedding, I'm immensely relieved. I'm so busy hauling my procrastinating butt around Nashvegas getting things together that planning a super fun, relaxing honeymoon is the last thing on my mind.

I know only a couple of things about the honeymoon:

-We're not going to Disney World. At first it seemed like a natural choice- I get discounts on resorts, merchandise, food, and free tickets. But P said no way. He wants to take me someplace that neither of has been to, so that whenever we think of that place, we think of our honeymoon. D'awwww.

-We're not going camping. I mean, I'm a Southern gal. I know my way around nature. Me and the girls go on camping trips every summer. But I'd rather go someplace where I can just sit around and be cute, rather than cook my own food and sleep in a sleeping back. And I'd also like, you know, running water.

-He's already picked it out! And he's told Kat, so she can help me pack for it. And give me subtle hints. You know, like "You really ought to take your PARKA!!!!"

Would you entrust your honeymoon with your hubster to be?

So last time I talked about why it might be a good idea to print out your own invitations. Now it's time for part two: The Printing.

If the thought of printing out a myriad of little cards makes you look a little bit like our friend Jack here, never fear. Printing your invitations is a lot less painless than it seems.

First, figure out what you have. Some printables just have a one-sheet and an envelope. Some, however, are more complicated- or you might choose to add more. For instance, our kit came with the invitation card, an RSVP card, address labels, and a card for directions, all of which needed to be printed. Once we knew what we had, we picked out the wording and the font.

(Or, rather, we had a conversation that went like this:

Me: "What do you think of this?"

Him: "Works for me."

Me: "Okay.")

If the fonts on your word processor leave you a bit cold, there are plenty of sites with free and free-to-use fonts out there. My go-to site is Dafont.com; that's where I found a precious font called CAC Pinafore. P and I looked at our invitaton wording in all sorts of different fonts, but we liked this one the best.

The next step is to figure out the template. Sometimes the kits come with instruction on how to format a Microsoft Word document; some will link to a website where you can download the template. Ours fell in the latter category, which honestly made everything pretty easy. All had had to do was open the document, substitute our wording and our font, and bah-BAM! We had this:
Pretty cute, eh?

Now it's time for the key part: The Printing! (cue Jack again)

Just kidding.

The printable should have a list of instructions on how to properly format your page. Hit Ctrl+P and follow the instructions to the letter. I also recommend selecting "only black ink" from the list of options. Unless you're printing in color, you'll want to save your colored cartridges for more imporant work.

Now, take all of your printer paper out, insert one card, and click print. Voila!

If you mess up (like we did), it's still okay. Most kits come with one extra card that you can use as a test. Just keep using the tester card until you have it working properly. This also heralds to the most important bit of advice I could give:

BUY AN EXTRA KIT!

We originally bought three kits of 30 each. But they were on clearance, and we weren't sure if we would be able to find them again later, so we went ahead and bought one last kit. Turned out to the best thing we could have done, because we messed up fourteen RSVP cards. They weren't terrible, but they had these funny stripes right in the middle. I wasn't a fan.

Luckily, we just pulled out the other kit, zipped out a couple more, and we were fine!

So yeah. Buy an extra kit.

Also, feed the paper in page by page. It's a lot more convenient to stick in a stack, but in the end, you'll have those funny stripes in the middle, and you'll be sad inside.

It was slightly tedious work, but it went pretty quickly since we worked as a team. I formatted and worked on addresses while he printed and tore the perforations. Also, he went on a McDonald's run. And it's a proven fact that french fries make everything better.

Next up is Part III: the Great Assemblage!

Have you had adventures while putting your invitations together?

People who make their own invitations astound me. Seriously. There are some gorgeous, stunning examples out there. Like these:

Have you considered using a printable kit?

All right, so I'm not really a child bride. (Although P gets plenty of robbing the cradle jokes. I mean, seriously. I'll be twenty-three next month and I still have people ask me "So, when are you starting college, honey?" It's a bit ridic. I mean, take a look at this:)

I was only nineteen years old when P and I decided to get married. We met in 2004, we started dating in March of '06, and by September of that year he gave me his purity ring on a necklace to wear until he could formally propose. We wanted to keep it a secret- so naturally, everyone knew. And we got a lot of flack for it.

One very dear high school friend sent me an email begging me to reconsider. She had a good point- after all, P was my first boyfriend. And I was a freakin' teenager! She made an analogy about ice cream- sure, if I've only had vanilla, it'll be my favorite. But if I try chocolate and strawberry and chocolate chip cookie dough, maybe I'll realize that one of them is my favorite instead.

Basically, she thought I should date around. But I'm as stubborn as the day is long, and I stuck by my decision. It's been three years since we made that choice on a warm September night, and I've never regretted it. 

Getting engaged as a teenager certainly doesn't work for everyone, but it worked for me. It worked for us. We've had the last four years to mature and form our future together. I'm not the same starry-eyed kid I was at nineteen, but growing up hasn't made me love him less or grow so accustomed to him that I forget to value and work on our relationship.

And surprisingly, I think one of the key reasons we've made it work is that we still had vibrant lives outside of each other. He went to school in Murfreesboro while I went to school in Green Hills (about an hour apart). He worked at the mall and lived with his guy friends in an apartment decked out with anime posters and every video game console known to man (and a couple known only to monkeys) while I spent hours and hours in rehearsals and went out with my girlfriends for midnight snack runs and afternoon pottery painting sessions. Granted, when we did see each other, we made the most of it. But we continued to build independent lives and independent friendships.

Sure, we were eligible for Engaged and Underaged on MTV, and sure, we agonized over the years and years of engagement (I called it Engagement Purgatory). And it didn't make it any easier that we decided to not have sex until our wedding night. (We've held to that, but it wasn't easy in the slightest!) I'm still glad that I said yes before I was old enough to drink. He is the right man for me, and age won't ever change that.

Are you a really young bride? What brought you to your decision?

 Today began the Great Invitation Deluge of 2010. P and I wrote out our guest list and bought our invitations a long, long time ago, so now it was time to put everything together.

Way back in October, P and I went out to buy the simple, pretty Martha Stewart eyelet invitation kits I had picked out back in 2007. As luck would have it...they were sold out. So we were back to square one.

We debated making our own or finding a conventional printer, but nothing seemed quite right. We ended up picking out a gorgeous printable kit from Michaels. They were on clearance (the original price was $39.99, and they were down to $29.99), plus I had a bunch of coupons. We bought four kits with thirty invitations each.

(Here's what the box looks like.)

The kit has a MOTHERLODE of pieces:

-the fold-out envelope

-cards for directions

-RSVP cards

-little RSVP envelopes

-address labels

-stickers to close the envelopes

We spent all afternoon printing out pieces and gathering addresses. Tomorrow I'm heading out to buy clear printable address labels for the little RSVP envelopes, while he gathers the remaining addresses from his side of the family.

And then on Sunday we begin the Great Assemblage!

Plans include movie marathons and probably another run to McDonald's. Because you can't put invitations together on an empty stomach!

P and I had our second premarital counseling session today. I'm really glad we're going through it. I mean, it's a requirement at the church, but even if it wasn't necessary, I would still want to do it.

Last time we went through my story. This time we went through his. It's interesting to see where our stories are similar, and where they're different. I think the most interesting part is when our counselor asked us each three questions, but he told us to answer with what we would have said as twelve years old. The point was that at the age of twelve, we've begun to become our own person outside of our families, and we're starting to form our own decision making process. But those choices we make as children are typically not what we should do as adults.

So here's what our counselor asked. Maybe you can discuss them with your SO and see what your twelve-year-old selves would answer.

-Where do you find security and stability?

-What do you do in order to gain affection and raise your self-esteem?

-What do you do in order to keep power and control in your life?

What important questions have you been asked in your premarital counseling?

The holidays are over...but the holiday chubs are here. Ugh. Gag me with a spoon.

So now it's time to kickstart that whole "CRAP-THE-WEDDING-IS-IN-MARCH-I-WANNA-LOSE-WEIGHT" thing. I started by rejoining Sparkpeople.

If you haven't been to Sparkpeople, I really recommend it. I discovered it a couple of years ago, and have used it periodically when I was feeling really desperate about my chubs. Basically, it's a free website where you can calculate what you need, then track your exercise and calories. Add that onto great articles and a really pleasant internet community, and it's a great way to keep going on your weight loss.

Diet wise, I'm trying not to diet. I'm just trying to cut down breads, pastas, and sweets (CURSE YOU, YOU CANDY CANE COOKIES! STOP TAUNTING ME!) while increasing vegetables, fruits, and protein (and my water intake). Basically, I'm just trying to eat sensibly. And I'm trying to not eat quite as much. You know how it is...you're starving, you're on the run, and you scarf down twice as much as you would normally if you stopped to think about it. 

Also on the diet front- cooking recipes from the South Beach diet cookbook. Just because I'm not following a particular diet doesn't mean I can use their recipes! And man was that pesto chicken good!

Exercise is a little tricky. My plan was to combine 30-45 minutes of walking a day with Jillian Michaels' 30-Day Shred. If you haven't done the Shred...that DVD will kick you. Quite literally. It's like the Chuck Norris of workout DVDs. It's terribly effective- you just have to be dedicated.

However, the problem with exercise isn't the Holy Terror...erm, Jillian Michaels. It's actually with the walking. It's the simplest thing you can do, right? Just go walking around the neighborhood?

Sure, it's simple. When it's not nineteen degrees out!

Seriously, good ol' Nashvegas is going through the coldest winter in 25 years. And I'm sorry, but going for a 30-45 minute walk when it's complete freezation out there is not a good time. I bundled up so much I felt like Randy in A Christmas Story, and then I had a miserable time walking. So I dug out my old standby workout, the weight loss friend of nerds and geeks alike.

I HAVE LOCKED MYSELF IN MY BEDROOM AND WILL NOT COME OUT UNTIL THIS WEDDING STUFF IS TAKEN CARE OF. (although I might come out for cake.) (shut up. cake is too a breakfast food.) In other words, I'm "applying myself," as my father used to say when I was in middle school and high school and I came home with unpleasant grades. I always hated that phrase, but it seems to make sense at the moment. I just need to hammer out some of the wedding stuff that I've been putting off. So here I am, in my pajamas, listening to my Chill Girls playlist on Pandra (it's mostly Kate Nash, Lily Allen, Regina Spektor, and Ingrid Michaelson) and sorting through my files. I'm well over halfway through, plus I've sent emails to Patrick about the guest list and to the photographer. I feel so productive. At the same time, though, while my myriad of Microsoft Word files are informative, that's a lot of stuff to sort through. But then I remembered... ...way back in the day, all the way back in April of 2007, when Patrick and I were but starry-eyed, newly affianced young'uns, I purchased The Instant Wedding Planner. My mother teased me about buying an instant wedding planner. "You've got three years! What do you need done in an instant?" Because I'm a PROCRASTINATOR, Mum, that's why! I've already started sorting through things via the Instant Wedding Planner, and it makes me feel quite organized. It's a no-nonsense sort of book- no pausing to debate gown styles or what flowers are best for spring. Just plenty of items to check off and lines to fill out. Perfect for a procrastinating bride like me. I feel a little calmer about this whole "the wedding is in 81 days thing." I think I can handle it. At least I hope so. I'm going to go eat some cake. I hope I'm not the only procrastinating bride out there! What have you slacked off on, and what helped you get back on track?

There's only eighty-five days till the wedding! I'm so excited...but there's so much to do.

I have a lot on the schedule for tomorrow- mostly, my graduation. But Patrick and I are planning the "super Saturday" of wedding planning. Basically, we're just going to have to camp out with some Dr. Pepper and cupcakes and my laptop, and just hack out all of the remaining details. It's going to be hardcore, but it has to be done.

But at the moment, I need to sleep. Just a few hours ago, I managed to get into my first car accident. I backed into a ditch- a ditch so deep that no one on the road could see me. Scary scary scary. I'm okay, though, and so is the Mach 5. I just need my sleep!

Just you wait, though. Not only am I going to have scads of updates soon, but I also have a tutorial for super cute, super easy lingerie. I'm so excited! Seriously, you might explode from the adorableness.

It's no secret that I need to get my procrastinating little butt back on track. So when I stopped by JoAnn's today to get fabric for my graduation dress (I picked a fabulous cupcake print, in case you were concerned), I browsed the wedding aisle to see if there was a magical little elf that I  could take home, and magically my wedding would be back in the proper time frame. No such luck on the elf, but I did pick up a handy-dandy little calender.

Patrick and I had our first premarital counseling session yesterday. Let me tell you, it was hardcore.

I didn't really know what was going to happen, but Patrick and I showed up at Woodmont in the afternoon for our first session, clinging to each others' hands and feeling rather nervous. (after I finished my World Lit II exam...and let me tell you, I wrote until my thumbnail was blue. It was kind of icky and still kind of fascinating.)

Our premarital counseling is done by Terry Smith, who has known Patrick since he was a kid. I've heard him speak at church before, so I was really excited to meet with him, but nervous at the same time. He started by saying that we would tell our stories and he would map them out. I went first.

Terry asked me about my parents, my grandparents, my parents' siblings, my siblings. He asked about what kind of people they were, and how they related to the other members of the family. Then he asked me about my school and church experiences, and what people had a deep impact on my life. He finished by asking three questions- about what made me feel secure, what I needed to do to feel validated, and how I dealt with situations...but I had to answer from what I felt as a twelve year old.

At the end, the whiteboard was completely full with this big clustering map, showing the relationships I had and the relationships with my family. The three of us discussed it, not only about my life, but how Patrick relates to it and what he can learn about me from seeing my story. It was absolutely fascinating. We took a picture of the map, so we can save it and refer to it, and when we meet again, it'll be Patrick's turn to tell his story.

Granted, we already knew about each other's family and history and suchlike, but it's completely different when it's drawn out in front of your face. I've heard some people say that they don't want to go to premarital counseling- it's a waste of time, it makes us feel like we're setting up to divorce before we're even married, etc.

Well, I recommend it for two reasons. One, because if you live in the state of Tennessee, you get a discount on your marriage license. And two, because premarital counseling isn't about fixing problems. It's there to help you when you have problems later on down the road, so that you can use what you've learned about each other to solve things. It's really beneficial in the long run.

Patrick and I are friends with a married couple who had Terry as their premarital counselor and highly recommended him. Andy told me that they actually still get out their maps and go through them. So even though I hate fighting with Patrick, I know what I can do when it happens. And he'll know what to do with me.

Because let's face it, I am a crier. I mean, I tear up at the drop of a hat. The ending to The Princess and the Frog, a Christmas commercial, seeing a particularly cute baby...it's not good.

Are you going through premarital counseling? Has it benefited you?

More from the Weddingbee relationship series!

I always thought I’d date someone for ____ months/years before we’d get engaged. In reality, we dated ____ months/years.

I always thought I'd date someone for a year or two before we'd get engaged. In reality, we dated for a year.

Actually, to be precise, we dated for one year, one month, and one week. How do you like that?

We decided to get married after six months of dating. But seeing as how that was a frightfully short time (and I was still technically a teenager, for heaven's sake!), we decided to wait a bit longer and get some counseling from mentors at church and our parents. He had the ring by January, and I waited for it eagerly. My twentieth birthday and our first anniversary passed without a proposal, but he caught me off guard on a random day in April!

I went into our relationship knowing that I was taking it seriously and that I hoped it would lead to marriage. Luckily, we were totally on the same page. We debated about getting engaged, and considered dating longer.

But Patrick put it this way- we knew we wanted to get married and we knew this was the right decision. Why shouldn't he put a ring on my finger and tell everyone that "hey, this girl is off the market and she's all mine!"

And seeing as how I not only got a wonderful (almost husband) and a super sparkly ring, I happily agreed.

My favorite way of perking up my lost wedding mojo? Looking at wedding stuff!

I started with the newest issue of Brides Magazine. Because it's perfectly impossible to sulk when you're scanning the pages of a fresh new wedding magazine and munching on a Lunchable.

I've also turned to one of my favorite internetz haunts: Weddingbee! It's been my favorite wedding website for the past year and a half (although I spent a lot of time lurking), and I've watched many Bee brides on their journey from miss to missus. Seeing real brides with real lives and real emotions and real stories are very reassuring to one rather lonely girl who is planning a wedding all on her lonesome. So which Bees have sparked the mojo?

Mrs. Candy Corn: First of all, she has the greatest writing style ever. Hilarious! I love her unique museum wedding and the birds. Oh, the birds are so precious. Her creative spins on normal wedding conventions are just fabulous. And she makes the greatest facial expressions ever. I still think we should have a Face Off, like the walk off in Zoolander. I'm just glad I'm an ambiturner...

Mrs. Avocado: I don't think there will ever be a classier lady. Her wedding was so sweet and her style was so refreshingly vintage. I really want to steal her suitcase pictures! I also admire her deep faith. And I read her newlywed blog all the time!

Mrs. Gummi Bear: She just cracks me up. And her wedding is so personal and perfect for her and her husband. I hope I can bring in the same level of personality to my wedding so it'll be as tailor-made for me and Patrick as her wedding was for her and Mr. Gummi Bear.

Ms. Fondue: I followed her the most voraciously of the Bees. I was so excited to see a Nashville bride! (I think she and Mrs. Cheese are the only other Tennessee gals.) And she's a cosplayer? Super awesome! (I think I actually ran into her at MTAC one year...) I loved that she was combing such a geeky thing (Japanese anime isn't always considered cool, especially if you're a girl) into such a classy wedding. Her story didn't reach the ending I'm sure she was hoping for, but she was still one of my favorite Bees and I hope she's doing well now.

Miss Rainbow: I am so fascinated by Miss Rainbow's plans it's not even funny. It's just awesome that we have the same root idea (retro Alice in Wonderland) and we're taking it in two such terribly different directions. Reading a fresh view on a similar idea is really helping me think outside the box. And her wedding is going to be gorgeous!

Mrs. Star: When Mrs. Star starts her recaps, I am so going to be the first one there. I read every single one of her blog posts. After all, I'm a youngish bride too! And she's a theater gal. Her wedding was just so beautifully and lovingly planned...and I know the recaps are going to be phenomenal! And her dress....gah! So lovely.

Reading past blog entries and recaps really help put everything in perspective. Sure, right now I'm tired and grumpy and I'd much rather be sleeping than searching for inexpensive yellow silk roses and more teapots for centerpieces. But taking a break and reading about how other brides brought their visions to light, while keeping their relationships in perspective, goes a long way to bring back that newly-engaged excitement. Time to go tackle that invitation wording! :)

How do you bring back your excitement for wedding planning when you get worn out and tired?

More from the Weddingbee relationship series!

Were you actively looking for a relationship when you met your SO? Was he/she looking?

I was most definitely not! When we first met when he was eighteen and I was seventeen, I had just moved to Nashville and was more concerned about making it out of my senior year at my new school alive. And he had a girlfriend.

When we started to get to know each other better, we were both single college freshmen. He was most definitely looking for a relationship- just not with me. He was actually casually dating a different girl! I wanted to date him, but being an old-fashioned Southern girl (and a romantic princess at heart) I wanted him to do the pursuing. I used to read his Myspace blog, watching his tenuous relationship with the other girl. It ended up not panning out, and he wrote a very sad blog about how he was a nice guy and girls didn't want nice guys to date, they wanted them to be their good friends. And he closed the entry by saying "Well, a Jedi shall not know love."

That clinched it for me. He was single and he spoke in Star Wars terms? Time to put on my pursuing shoes!

And as you can guess, it worked out. :)

I envy the Disney princesses.

They have perfect hair (except for the one strand that gets in their eyes for the sole purpose of brushing it aside in key moments.)


(see? look at the perfect strand!)

They have amazing wardrobes.

(And girlfriend wears it for what...one scene? Maybe two? Gah!)

They can all sing.


(The voice actress who played Aurora, Mary Costa, was actually a professional opera singer.)

And they all have lovely weddings.

(We'll forgive Ariel for the sleeves. It was 1989, after all.)

But what did they do? Did they agonize about finding THE dress? Did they quibble with their princes over cake designs? Did they despair over the prices of off-season flowers? Did they search high and low throughout their kingdoms for just the right photographer? No. They just showed up and had a marvelous time and were happily married.

Lucky hos.

I kid, I kid. But seriously,

I'm in kind of a rut lately. I just don't feel up to working on anything. Rehearsals are killing me, I'm attempting to graduate this semester, and I need a job. And I received a discouraging email. (let's just say that I REALLY want to be Miss Thimble! I mean- I'm a sewing nerd and a total Disney geek. And you know- Peter Pan and Wendy and the thimble? How cute would it be?!) But I digress.

Right now I wish there was a magical wedding computer where I could just plug in all the things I like and want for the wedding and then just show up on March 13th. But that's not going to happen.

You silly Disney princesses have all the luck with your immediately planned, perfect weddings. But as I am an imperfect princess, I'm going to rev up my energy, get some new inspiration, and get cracking! Time for Princess Sassypants to get her mojo fired up.

(And I'm keeping my fingers crossed about the whole Miss Thimble thing...)